Dean Ra'ed Qaqish and new camels

Saturday, March 15, 2014 From Tom: (Cami asked for this)

Who is Ra'ed? He is who I work for and the reason we are here, (well, one of the reasons). He is Dean of Art and Design. He is a native Jordanian who has a degree in Architecture from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee (an Arabic cheese-head) and also got degrees and taught at the Glasgow School of Art, the Design Council in London and worked at the House of Commons. He is an architect, interior designer, graphic artist, TV and Radio station owner and broadcaster, former member of the Jordanian Parliament and an activist for human causes. He is Orthodox Christian and a prominent member of the Jordanian society. You can google him and see the full bio.

Dean Ra'ed Qaquish

But he needs me. This is because he is so energetic with so many ideas that he has a hard time actually getting to them. He also is pretty tough on those he disagrees with or who are not performing. He wants  me to run interference and be the diplomat. We have gotten along famously. He says I'm his Deputy Dean.

We just got approved for a foreign study program after two months of arguing, manipulating, head-bashing and reanalyzing. I was asked to put the program together to get our Graphic Design students on a study and internship program in New Hampshire. We thought we had it approved in January but it got sabotaged by some jealous deans and non-visionary Vice Presidents. So I was drawn into a series of arguments with the Vice-Presidents and the President to make the numbers work. It was very intense. I've learned that the culture here seems to enjoy a bloody argument and then they laugh, kiss and have tea. But I think I've earned a bit of respect from them all.

So Ra'ed has used me for 'cannon-fodder'; to run interference and handle the issues. Plus he now has me teaching four classes, Theory, Psychology, Concept Development and Design Principles. It's getting busy but it's actually a lot of fun.

His style of meeting management is pretty dysfunctional, but it's typical. If I'm meeting with him, and someone walks in, he focuses on the new person. If another one or two walk in, the attention goes to them. So there often are 5-6 people standing in the room, 2-3 at seats and someone on the phone. That has happened at the doctor, bank, and at the university. They don't want to be inhospitable to the new visitor but then they become disrespectful of the existing visitors. I've told him to shut the door and deal with one thing at a time. It's like trying to ride 3 camels at once.

Speaking of Camels:
Allison got some new siblings.

More new baby camels

Let's kiss and make up!

Greek Orthodox Wedding

Saturday, March 15, 2014--from Ronna

The administrative secretary for Tom's department invited us to attend her wedding a week ago. Zeina Sawahla married Faris according to the Arabic traditions. A close family friend sat beside me during the first part of the ceremony and explained what was going on. Unfortunately, I have forgotten her name while learning the names of 85 new students this semester.

Zeina in photo shoot at her family estate before the wedding

The bride's family is from a wealthy and large, old clan from Madaba, in particular, and Jordan, in general. We arrived at the home of the bride around 4 PM on a Friday. The house and olive gardens are only two houses south from where we live, but you have to follow an indirect route of several kilometers to get there--typical of this country. It was sunny and just slightly cool with a Spring breeze caressing the trees. The bride was just finishing her photo shoot with her videographers. Pose, pout, click.

Traditional color guard to honor the wedding party with bagpipes, drums and chanting

Inside the lovely home, close family and friends had gathered, the women in one large room and the men in the other. Coffee in tiny glasses and water was served and a little sweet (a bite-size baklava straight from the deli of the gods). Drums and music were played and the women surrounded the bride, dancing and swaying, arms lifted up and fingers snapping. The bride danced, too. Every so often the women would erupt into a high-pitched gobble yell. It is done with a curled, flapping tongue and sometimes fingers tapping rhythmically on the lips. I can't begin to imitate it. I think they must practice from birth.

Women's corner dancing and chanting before wedding---to give courage

More pictures of the bride and her parents and siblings are taken. Then, special gifts of money and jewelry (gold and diamonds) are given to the bride. Zeina received a gold watch from her father who fastened it on her wrist. Dancing continues and elaborate foil-wrapped chocolates are passed out to the guests. Then, the focus shifts to the male side when the uncle of the groom and other members of the groom's family enters the house. This is symbolic of one family accepting and joining the other family. It's a big deal. People have been killed because of one family not approving of a marriage to another family.

Grand uncles and male relatives in men's section of room

The bride's uncle stands and proudly recites the genealogy of the Sawahla family. He is basically telling the father of the groom and others that they are blessed to have Zeina joining their family. A gold cape is wrapped around another maternal uncle's shoulders (he is sitting in the room) which is a gift to Zeina and represents protection and comfort and will be used to wrap others in as the new couple meet life's trials. Then, the uncle of the groom and the uncle of the bride each drink a glass of coffee together which symbolizes that the groom's family has permission to escort the bride to the church where the groom and the rest of his family is waiting. The shared coffee rite is also is a symbol of future peace and harmony between the two families.

The family fleet of Porches and Mercedes to lead the wedding caravan

We followed the bride and company, her Mercedes draped front and back with a sling of real flowers and ribbons, into one of the Greek Orthodox churches in town. The groom met her in the courtyard and then with Mendelssohn's traditional wedding march, they follow her bridesmaid and groomsman (a brother and sister and usually only one of each) down the aisle to the altar. The priest gave a sermon with congregation answering with the prayers and then they said their vows. All in Arabic. The couple exchanged rings, they lit a candle behind the altar together and then walked back down the aisle accompanied by Handel's Hallelujah Chorus. The two families then joined together under a canopy in the courtyard and received guests. Close family and friends then gathered at a local restaurant for a meal and further celebrating before the couple headed to Sri Lanka for their honeymoon. Ah, to be young and in love again………..

Firas and Zeina after the wedding vows

Added Comments by Tom:

Well I'm not young but certainly still in love. Ahhh!!

I need to add that the celebrations of the wedding begin one week before the actual wedding. Traditionally, the marriage was announced in the church one week ahead. Then there was a week of dinners, dancing and celebrations leading up to the wedding.

I was invited to and attended a celebration at the bride's home two days before the wedding. There were about 60 people, again with males on one side of the large room and females on the other. Lots of greeting and treats until it erupted into joyous dancing, mostly by the women in a large cluster, dancing to music you could imagine Salome dancing to, loud enough to crush your brain. Then the traditional shooting of the guns ( including machine guns) into the air outside. A full course buffet of the best Arabic food was offered with the oldest guests first. Even if they didn't know me, I was offered the best hospitality and greetings. I left early but the dancing went into the wee hours.

Greek Orthodox Church after ceremony. Very modern building with traditional decor