"Shoe Fly--Oh My" and Our Change in Schedule

Sunday, June 1, 2014--From Tom:

Shoe Fly--Oh My-------Oh Why?
When Ronna and I decided to come to this very interesting part of the world, we were obviously concerned about safety and health issues. We also were concerned about doing something that might not be acceptable or even offend the local culture. So we read a lot and talked to many people and thought we were prepared. Not so!

I was walking down the corridor in our department and some of the other professors were 'horsing around'. Ali, a professor of music, was doing a little dance and singing in the corridor. As I passed him I noticed his shoes had come off. Without breaking stride, I reached down and spontaneously picked one of them up and kept walking. When I got about 15 feet away, he noticed his shoe was missing. I was standing in front of another professors' office and, to get rid of the evidence, I flipped the shoe in the office and kept going. BIG MISTAKE!!

In a few minutes I was visited by a very angry professor, whom I will call Omar. He informed me that,  in the Arab culture, throwing a shoe at someone was the deepest, most serious insult possible. I was mortified. I certainly didn't intend to insult him nor did I even throw it at him, but he perceived and interpreted that I had meant it as an insult. I apologized profusely and told him that it was part of innocent horseplay and I made a mistake and did not intend an insult. He seemed to accept that and I thought everything would be OK. He is a native Jordanian who lived in London for over 20 years. He is a professional architect and editor and publisher of an international journal on Arab architecture. So he's lived in Western, rather liberal cultures.

Over the months I had helped him with his classes, given him rides out of my way, paid great attention to his family and children, had wonderful conversations, etc. But this event overshadowed all of that. He went to other professors, had a long and difficult conversation with the Dean and threatened to quit. He didn't express direct anger at me but still the insult had hurt him emotionally. I heard about it again from Ali. So I went a 2nd and 3rd time to apologize and ask forgiveness. He said he accepted my apology and knew that I didn't mean any offense. He said all was forgiven. And I thought it was.

A week or two later I found that he had gone to the President of the University and the Provost telling of the horrible insult he had received. He expresses friendship and kindness to me but keeps rehearsing the insult. My colleagues and the Dean have all told him to let it go and move on. They know I was ignorant of this tradition and didn't intend it. So it's been a hard lesson. Oh my!

You may recall that in December 2008 an Arab journalist threw his shoe at President George W. Bush while in Iraq. He was arrested, allegedly tortured and sentenced to three years in prison. But he also was  deemed a hero by the people. A Saudi businessman offered $10 million for the shoes but they were destroyed.

The shoe covers the lowest part of the body and is what steps in the filth. Thus it is seen as the worst insult. So I've learned a lesson.

While this may be interpreted as a reflection on the Arab culture, it shouldn't be. Many Arab colleagues have been puzzled by his unwillingness to let go. He's rather rigid in his classroom style and intolerant of  some of the students playfulness.


Our Change of Schedule: Unless we stay out of the US for over 330 days we pay a significant tax penalty on top of the taxes we already pay in Jordan. So we decided to have Ronna come home as scheduled and Tom will stay in Jordan and teach Summer Semester. So Ronna will be home in Utah from June 26 to September 3 when she will go to visit Chandi and Geoff in Pennsylvania. I will come home on August 23 and return to Jordan on September 13. We have an apartment in North Logan.

We have so many people to visit. Can you tell we are homesick?

Jordanian Recycling Program: Instead of the US system where we sort our waste and put it in different containers for recycling, the Jordanians put everything into one container. Then a few days later the gypsies come along and empty all of our trash into the driveway and pick out what they want and go to the next house, leaving all the trash.

So here I am cleaning up. The alternate plan is that many Jordanians just light the whole thing on fire.