Exams, Our Friends in Jordan and Baptism at Site

Sunday, June 8, 2014: From Tom

Final Exams-----Finally!!
We're giving final exams this week. I think it's harder on us than the students. We obviously have to make up the exams, prepare the students as well as possible, proctor the exams, grade them, listen to the whining, create the grading spreadsheet and post the grades. But we also have to make up a Portfolio of what happened in the class including syllabus, schedule, exams, projects, notes, and examples of their work. Then we have to do an elaborate analysis of the learning outcomes to see if the students actually  learned what we intended.

Final Exam in my Design Principles Class--Note the spacing to try to reduce cheating.

Rules in the Exam---Do you really need to tell them to use the toilet?? Yes, they have magical powers to enable cheating at any price. They can drive 5 hours without a stop, but need to use the toilet twice during a class lecture. Mostly it's to go get a "smoke".  We don't let them leave during the exam though.

I gave them a pretty tough exam, especially for students who struggle with English and are highly protected by their rich parents. On the first day I asked if any of them had worked in a design office (none), visited an office (none), visited an architectural project (none), read a book or article on architecture or design (none). I was amazed! I had done all of that when I entered college. So we're starting from zero. I pushed them to read, go to sites, analyze, measure and observe. By the end of the semester a good number were showing great promise--even brilliance.

While I'll need to fail about 4 that should never have been there in the first place, there are 6-8 that are very talented and amazing at grasping the concepts. It's fun to challenge their minds. The Jordanian system is based on rote memorization. "Give them a list and they will memorize it". I have them look at new images and try to analyze the systems and concepts. They need to start to think "out of the box" because we are always dealing with new situations.

Excuses, excuses!! It's always someone else's fault, always. It seems that the culture doesn't accept taking personal responsibility, certainly they never take blame. A sample of excuses: "my driver doesn't get me on time", "my mother needed to go to the dentist", "I lost my notes", "But I don't like to read," and the best one is "but I was absent on those days". There is a huge cultural difference between the Western kids who are raised to explore, seek challenges, and to try something and the Arab culture which protects their kids too much and even is adverse to exploring new ideas.

Yet I have found some very bright lights. One student believes that he will eclipse Steven Spielberg in movies. He's already starting to shoot his movies. In my Theories Class I had them all start a new company, at least on paper. It was tough but they had some good thinking. Many of the students said that I was the first professor that asked their opinion. The others just lectured.

Half of my crazy Design Theory Class--Jude, Mira, Razan, Abed and Noodles ( Anoud). Lots of energy. 

Two favorite students, Malek and Nadeen. Malek is a disc jockey and manages parties. He struggles with English but really tries. I was told to flunk him early last year when he was not doing well. I showed extra interest and let him use an Arabic-English Translator on his phone and he's doing A- work now. 

Nadeen, is always on time and does perfect work. On April Fool's Day, she called her friends to come to the class, pretend they were Security and tried to arrest me. 

 Rand, is probably my best student always getting a 98 or 99 on her exams and assignments. But she came down with a rare disease called Wilson's Disease where her body retains the copper. It could have been fatal but they caught it in time. 

Some of my fellow faculty members: 

Dr. Ali Shurman

Dr. Ali Shurman is a Musicologist, trained in Italy and Russia. He is acting Dean while Ra'ed  is presenting in Dubai. It was Ali's shoe that I tossed  a few weeks ago.

Zena

Zena, is a Graphic Artist from Dubai. She is trained and worked in San Francisco. Extremely talented.

Dr. Yasser, architect--He led the conference on Urban Minorities

Baptism at the Site:

One of our members got permission from Jordanian authorities to have their son baptized at the site of Jesus' baptism. Normally this is done on the Israel/ Palestinian West Bank side of the Jordan where there are large wide stairways leading down to the river. Many people go to be baptized and get a white gown from the local Catholic priest and essentially baptize themselves. 

The Jordan side has wooden steps under a small pavilion. Both sides are guarded and controlled by military with submachine guns since it is an international border that was at war only a few decades ago. 

Looking across the Jordan to the West Bank, where the Catholic Church provides white gowns for those wanting to be baptized, mostly baptizing themselves.

Entering the Jordan--there was a big drop off in a few feet. 

Cameron Birchenough--newly baptized

"Shoe Fly--Oh My" and Our Change in Schedule

Sunday, June 1, 2014--From Tom:

Shoe Fly--Oh My-------Oh Why?
When Ronna and I decided to come to this very interesting part of the world, we were obviously concerned about safety and health issues. We also were concerned about doing something that might not be acceptable or even offend the local culture. So we read a lot and talked to many people and thought we were prepared. Not so!

I was walking down the corridor in our department and some of the other professors were 'horsing around'. Ali, a professor of music, was doing a little dance and singing in the corridor. As I passed him I noticed his shoes had come off. Without breaking stride, I reached down and spontaneously picked one of them up and kept walking. When I got about 15 feet away, he noticed his shoe was missing. I was standing in front of another professors' office and, to get rid of the evidence, I flipped the shoe in the office and kept going. BIG MISTAKE!!

In a few minutes I was visited by a very angry professor, whom I will call Omar. He informed me that,  in the Arab culture, throwing a shoe at someone was the deepest, most serious insult possible. I was mortified. I certainly didn't intend to insult him nor did I even throw it at him, but he perceived and interpreted that I had meant it as an insult. I apologized profusely and told him that it was part of innocent horseplay and I made a mistake and did not intend an insult. He seemed to accept that and I thought everything would be OK. He is a native Jordanian who lived in London for over 20 years. He is a professional architect and editor and publisher of an international journal on Arab architecture. So he's lived in Western, rather liberal cultures.

Over the months I had helped him with his classes, given him rides out of my way, paid great attention to his family and children, had wonderful conversations, etc. But this event overshadowed all of that. He went to other professors, had a long and difficult conversation with the Dean and threatened to quit. He didn't express direct anger at me but still the insult had hurt him emotionally. I heard about it again from Ali. So I went a 2nd and 3rd time to apologize and ask forgiveness. He said he accepted my apology and knew that I didn't mean any offense. He said all was forgiven. And I thought it was.

A week or two later I found that he had gone to the President of the University and the Provost telling of the horrible insult he had received. He expresses friendship and kindness to me but keeps rehearsing the insult. My colleagues and the Dean have all told him to let it go and move on. They know I was ignorant of this tradition and didn't intend it. So it's been a hard lesson. Oh my!

You may recall that in December 2008 an Arab journalist threw his shoe at President George W. Bush while in Iraq. He was arrested, allegedly tortured and sentenced to three years in prison. But he also was  deemed a hero by the people. A Saudi businessman offered $10 million for the shoes but they were destroyed.

The shoe covers the lowest part of the body and is what steps in the filth. Thus it is seen as the worst insult. So I've learned a lesson.

While this may be interpreted as a reflection on the Arab culture, it shouldn't be. Many Arab colleagues have been puzzled by his unwillingness to let go. He's rather rigid in his classroom style and intolerant of  some of the students playfulness.


Our Change of Schedule: Unless we stay out of the US for over 330 days we pay a significant tax penalty on top of the taxes we already pay in Jordan. So we decided to have Ronna come home as scheduled and Tom will stay in Jordan and teach Summer Semester. So Ronna will be home in Utah from June 26 to September 3 when she will go to visit Chandi and Geoff in Pennsylvania. I will come home on August 23 and return to Jordan on September 13. We have an apartment in North Logan.

We have so many people to visit. Can you tell we are homesick?

Jordanian Recycling Program: Instead of the US system where we sort our waste and put it in different containers for recycling, the Jordanians put everything into one container. Then a few days later the gypsies come along and empty all of our trash into the driveway and pick out what they want and go to the next house, leaving all the trash.

So here I am cleaning up. The alternate plan is that many Jordanians just light the whole thing on fire.

Our Visit to Nazareth and Galilee

Sunday, April 27----From Tom:

Nazareth and Galilee:

Here is the lock on the bathroom door--a bent nail.
Also, no paper, soap or towels. Good luck!

Traveling in the Mideast is filled with both perils and miracles. We seemed to have both. As I said earlier, we needed to leave Jordan because our visas had expired. We were illegal aliens. So I wasn't sure how we would be received at the border. As it turned out we had to pay a fine of about $100. We could have just paid a fine of $300 when we departed from the airport in June. It would have been cheaper but we would have missed the adventure.

The "bus" is the back seat of the car. 

                                                                        We booked a trip with a bus service called Trust International. What a joke! There was no one at the terminal when we arrived and when they finally did arrive it was Ronna and I in the back seat of a car. They charged  us $230 for what cost us nothing to return. They take you to the Sheikh Hussein border crossing, about 1.5 hours north. The crossing near us doesn't handle visas--go figure! They then drop you at a taxi stand about 2 km from the crossing. The taxi takes you through 2 or 3 checkpoints for passports, visa fees and security check. Then you wait an hour until the bus driver decides to go. Then you sit in the bus for an hour while the guys with machine guns check the bus. Then you go through the Israeli security check. Remember ist was about a month ago that the Israeli guards shot and killed a Jordanian judge at the crossing. It's disputed as to whether he tripped into the guard or lunged for the guard's gun. It caused major demonstrations. We then went to find the other driver for Trust International, a guy named Abo.

Sheikh Hussein Crossing into Israel-we sat about an hour 

Abo asked if we were going to Nazareth. Well, of course, that's where we booked our trip but we said we really want to go to Tiberias ( the same distance, but on the Sea of Galilee). He said it would be $60 more, which we agreed.
My big concern is that even though we booked to Nazareth, somehow we got a hotel in Tiberias. I didn't realize that everything stops in Israel at 2 PM on Friday for Shabbat or Sabbath. Our bus was not scheduled to arrive in Nazareth until about 3 PM so while I tried all the car rental agencies in Israel, none were open after 2 PM. I was even googling the taxi companies, but couldn't connect. I also didn't know if our Jordanian phone would work in Israel. So I was heading into unknown territory.

Crossing the Jordan River into Israel

Abo, for his extra shekels, drove us to Tiberias which solved a big problem. As we arrived in Tiberias, I saw a Hertz car rental about 15 minutes before closing. So we got a car----for about $100/day. (They saw me coming). Then Abo demanded double what we had agreed. So I had the car agent translating as we got into an argument about what was agreed. (Remember, they have the machine guns). Anyway I won and we settled.

On the balcony of the chapel overlooking Galilee. Capernaum is behind us. 

Tiberias was settled about 20 AD by the Romans and it's right on the Sea of Galilee. Today it's a bustling tourist town. We settled in and just started driving along the beautiful shoreline. We went by the ancient village of Capernaum, where Jesus spent so much of his time ministering with Peter and Andrew. Above Capernaum is the Mount of Beatitudes, where Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount. The church built there was closed but we appreciated walking on the open grasslands on the hillside, imagining Christ ministering here. The site has a wonderful panorama of the Sea of Galilee to the south.

Site of the Sermon on the Mount, above Capernaum

We then drove up to the Golan Heights. This is where the Syrian Army lobbed artillery shells into Israel until the Israeli Army captured it in the 1967 war. It also is the site of Bethsaida, which is the birthplace of Peter and where John, Andrew, James and Phillip lived. I didn't realize that so much of Jesus' ministry took place in this small area on the north shore of Galilee. It is a beautiful and very peaceful, verdant area surrounded by rolling hills.

On the east shore of Galilee we met with Gary and Alexis Nickel, son of Walter Nickel. They are humanitarian missionaries serving in the Jerusalem Center and guiding BYU students who come for a semester. It's interesting to have two childhood friends from Milwaukee connect on the Sea of Galilee.

The Muslim sabbath is Friday, the Jewish is Saturday and the Christian is Sunday. The LDS go along with the local custom and in Israel they worship on Saturday. The LDS purchased and renovated a small home overlooking Galilee. It is both a church and a residence for the Branch President/service couple assigned there.

Front of Galilee Chapel

President Frost, center, in Galilee Chapel

As we walked into the chapel, it was a stunning experience as the whole congregation has a panoramic view of the Sea of Galilee during the service. They only have 18 members and the meeting is conducted in English and translated simultaneously into Hebrew, Spanish and Arabic as needed. The prayer was in Spanish and the Sacrament was in Hebrew. Testimonies were shared in all the languages except Arabic.

It was an emotional experience for Ronna and I to sing "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" while looking over the area and waters where He ministered. The testimonies were equally powerful. Many of the members have to take a cab for 30-45 minutes but have been faithful for many years. The Relief Society President, Sis. Spencer, had just had a stroke, but had served in the area for over 50 years and had received a highly valued service award from the Israeli government for her charitable work through the years. She is from Canada but moved and became an Israeli citizen. She never married but devoted full time to caring for others. Our Mother Teresa.

We took the afternoon and drove to the Valley of Armageddon, where it is prophesied that the last battle will be fought and Christ will appear to defeat the Anti-Christ. It looks like Cache Valley except the mountains are just low hills.

We drove to Nazareth and saw where Mary was visited at age 14 by the angel Gabriel, telling her that she would be the mother of Jesus. It is now a large church built over the humble cave-dwelling where Mary lived.

The cave/home in Nazareth where Mary is believed to have been visited by the Angel Gabriel announcing Jesus. 

View from Mt. Tabor where Jesus was transfigured and met with Moses and Elijah

We also visited Mt. Tabor, where Jesus was transfigured and he met with Moses and Elijah. It is a very prominent mountain in the center of a large flat valley. It is now a park and picnic area and large groups were gathered, unfortunately playing loud, head banging music. Not a spiritual setting anymore.

On Sunday, we met for lunch with the Galilee Branch President, Jay Frost and his wife. They then offered to take us to the border crossing. We had worried about how we were going to get home.

After the gruesome ritual of going back through the Israeli and Jordanian security we found ourselves in an empty parking lot. No cars, cabs or buses. I started to panic since our phone had also just run out of minutes and it was late in the afternoon. A man named, Suliman, saw Ronna and offered to take us to the next taxi stand, a few kilometers away but he just kept going and took us all the way. He even wanted to buy us dinner and have tea. He was so gracious and seemed thankful to have Americans travel with him. It really was an unexpected blessing to us.

We Signed Up for Another Year / Our Health / Refugee Conference

Sunday, April 20--HAPPY EASTER

This week, leading up to Easter, we reflected that we are only about 30 direct miles from where Jesus brought about the Atonement. We are grateful to be here since it gives a visual reference to all those sacred events that changed the world and all mankind. We were grateful to have spent time in Galilee and Nazareth. I'll share more later but it deeply touched us. Now, as we read or discuss stories in Jesus life, there will be vivid images and feelings.

It's pretty interesting celebrating Easter in a predominantly Muslim nation. Much quieter but we are still greeted by shopkeepers who recognize us as Westerners with a "Happy Easter". Many students and other faculty also celebrate Easter and send very kind greetings. I was even told that they have colored Easter eggs for many generations, even using natural materials like onion skins for coloring. It is interesting to note that this region was predominantly Christian many years ago. The shift to Islam came as foreign powers such as the Ottoman Empire was very coercive. Today, Jordanians pride themselves on enjoying peaceful tolerance. I was told by one Jordanian, "you don't ask about religion or make it an issue". I have found that many Christians are proud of their faith and openly express it.

We have our Sabbath on Friday, as do the Muslims. So today, Easter, we had an unusual activity--we spent the morning paying our taxes at the Ministry of Finance---gruesome experience. We were helped by a wonderful accountant with KPMG who originally quoted about $6,000 fee to do our $700 taxes, but later offered to do them for nothing, primarily because his son was one of Ronna's favorite students. Is that good luck, corruption or as they say here, "wasta"---you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. It's how the country runs.

RE-ENLISTING: Ronna and I were asked to come back and teach for another year. We accepted, even though we knew it would be tough on Lindee and her family. Why did we sign up? We don't think our work is completed here. There are some initiatives I've started that focus on changing the campus that are taking hold. I've also been helping develop the foreign studies program, which has more obstacles than you can imagine. I believe I've also been helpful in how they approach resolving problems. But that may take a lifetime. I'm also teaching four classes and am having some success in seeing creative thinking start to develop in the students. (Classes are Design Principles, Psychology of Design, Conceptual Thinking and Professional Practice). I have no textbooks. And the kids really don't read. As a  culture they don't read but I'm pounding reading into their heads.

Ronna is also teaching four classes but has much larger classes totaling about 90 students. Plus Ronna started a writing lab that is starting to grow. She is a very dedicated and creative teacher and we get a lot of feedback that they like the American way of teaching. We both are very interactive with the students, asking their opinions. One of my students said he loves it because no other professor has asked his opinion. He wants to be a film director and is very ambitious.

So we'll come home for the summer about June 24/5 and stay until Sept 3, when we will go to visit Chandi and Geoff in Pennsylvania. We need to be back in Jordan on September 15th. Dean Ra'ed says he wants me to take a leadership position but that hasn't been confirmed yet, so we'll see.

Jordanian Rainbow--In a country where it seldom rains, it's very rare to see a rainbow. We took it for a sign. 

OUR HEALTH: Many have asked how we are doing, being away from our usual surroundings and good medical help. Actually we have been doing very well, even better than at home. That may be due to the milder climate, the better sleep, or more regular lifestyle. We still have stress but it's manageable. Recently Ronna came down with deep, severe coughing. It started to look serious but our physician at the campus felt it was an allergic reaction. There is a lot of wind which kicks up the dust and various pollens. The medicine he prescribed did the trick and she's doing well again. I always have a deep cough due to asthma and have learned to live with it. It has been better here and I haven't had a serious bout requiring antibiotics over the winter at all. That's a first in 10 years. 

My trouble is knees, legs and back. I have spinal stenosis and degenerative disc disease so my legs go numb if I stand over 10 minutes. Hard to lecture, so I keep jumping around, dancing, whirling and doing imitations. The students think it's a teaching method but it's therapy for neuropathy. 

REFUGEES: We hosted an International Conference on Urban Minorities and had students and scholars here from Germany, Egypt, Turkey, Lebanon, Syria and Jordan. It focused on how various social/ethnic groups have migrated into Jordan and other countries over the years. The majority of the population of Jordan now are refugees. Jordan's tradition and culture is to welcome all refugees but it is now reaching a breaking point. Groups have included Circassians, Iraqis, Egyptians, Gypsies, Palestinians and most recently, Syrians. Most groups, given some time have integrated into the social fabric and become successful. The current wave is too large and have come too quickly. 

I was asked to make a presentation with only about 45 minutes notice when two of the presenters didn't show up. I did a presentation on the grassroots decision making process we employed with "Envision Cache Valley" and had graphics to show. It worked out well. 

Lara Farah lived among the gypsies for several years and gained their trust and confidence. She said they enjoy their lifestyle although we see them as the most troubled social group, living in horrible poverty. 

Our Egyptian friend, Hebatallah

 We really connected with Hebatallah, the lead scholar from Egypt. She spoke of how the "construction mafia" had ruined Alexandria and Cairo by wiping out existing neighborhoods, evicting people without recourse to build unsound, extremely dense new developments that don't meet building codes, all through corrupt practices of bribes and payoffs. Buildings collapse on top of other buildings but the developers and contractors have made billions while destroying the social fabric.

Immigration in the US is a much smaller issue than many of the countries in the Middle East. What if the US had 175 million refugees or illegal immigrants? That's a proportionate number to Jordan.

International Students of Urban Minorities Conference at a Break

A gypsy encampment just east of our home. They come through our yard with goats daily.

VISITORS FROM THE US: This week Brian and Mary Ann Strong, Brent's brother, will visit and stay with us. They are on a tour of the Holy Land and Istanbul and will take an extended tour, visiting Brent and Margaret and us. 

We are getting homesick and certainly our children and grandkids are foremost on our minds when thinking of home. But we also miss our wonderful friends and neighbors. See you in June. 

We were Illegal Aliens so we went to Galilee!!

Sunday, April 6-From Tom (This is a week late due to the shut down of internet connection. Sorry!)

We found out we were illegal aliens. Our Jordanian visa had expired on March 10th. We tried all sorts of things but we were told we needed to leave Jordan and return. We thought of going to Egypt and Lebanon but that seemed a bit scary at this time. The simplest would be to just drive to the border crossing ( 1.5 hours north)walk over and go through the checkpoints and turn around and cross back. That would have taken at least 6 hours and would have been a waste of time.

So we got the inspiration to take a bus to Nazareth and see Jesus' boyhood home. It was supposed to be a 7 hour ride one way ( 3-4 hours to go through the very difficult border crossing).

I can't tell the whole story right now, but the short version is that we were very nervous because of all the hurdles and nothing was working out right. We had arranged a bus ride to Nazareth, but reserved a hotel in Tiberias, next to the Sea of Galilee. It turned out that our bus wasn't scheduled to arrive until an hour after everything shut down--I mean everything because of the Jewish Shabbat, or Sabbath. Thus there would be no rental cars and maybe no taxis for the 30 kilometer journey for at least a day. I tried 20 different agencies and they all shut down. I imagined Ronna and I toting bags along the highway.

I'll fill in the details later but there were a good number of miracles; things that are really hard to explain except that our guardian angels were watching over us again.

We returned safe and sound and had an incredible journey. We visited Tiberias, Nazareth, Capernaum, Beth Saida, the Sea of Galilee, the site of the Sermon on the Mount, sites of other miracles such as the loaves and fishes, the Transfiguration on Mt. Tabor and the Valley of Armageddon.

One of the best experiences was having a Sacrament Meeting in the chapel overlooking the Sea of Galilee. The meetings are conducted and translated in English, Spanish, Arabic and Hebrew. It was a testimony meeting so there was a lot of translation but a very powerful spirit. The chapel actually has a panoramic view of the Sea. Can you imagine the feeling as we began by singing "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" as we looked out on where the Savior calmed the waves, walked on water and healed the sick. It was  very touching experience.

View from our chapel overlooking the Sea of Galilee toward Capernaum

Everything fell into place like we had guardian angels watching over us. I still get choked up thinking of it. We'll fill in the details later since we're now behind in our exams and grading and our internet is really giving us trouble again. We're learning patience.

East shoreline of the Sea of Galilee

Dean Ra'ed Qaqish and new camels

Saturday, March 15, 2014 From Tom: (Cami asked for this)

Who is Ra'ed? He is who I work for and the reason we are here, (well, one of the reasons). He is Dean of Art and Design. He is a native Jordanian who has a degree in Architecture from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee (an Arabic cheese-head) and also got degrees and taught at the Glasgow School of Art, the Design Council in London and worked at the House of Commons. He is an architect, interior designer, graphic artist, TV and Radio station owner and broadcaster, former member of the Jordanian Parliament and an activist for human causes. He is Orthodox Christian and a prominent member of the Jordanian society. You can google him and see the full bio.

Dean Ra'ed Qaquish

But he needs me. This is because he is so energetic with so many ideas that he has a hard time actually getting to them. He also is pretty tough on those he disagrees with or who are not performing. He wants  me to run interference and be the diplomat. We have gotten along famously. He says I'm his Deputy Dean.

We just got approved for a foreign study program after two months of arguing, manipulating, head-bashing and reanalyzing. I was asked to put the program together to get our Graphic Design students on a study and internship program in New Hampshire. We thought we had it approved in January but it got sabotaged by some jealous deans and non-visionary Vice Presidents. So I was drawn into a series of arguments with the Vice-Presidents and the President to make the numbers work. It was very intense. I've learned that the culture here seems to enjoy a bloody argument and then they laugh, kiss and have tea. But I think I've earned a bit of respect from them all.

So Ra'ed has used me for 'cannon-fodder'; to run interference and handle the issues. Plus he now has me teaching four classes, Theory, Psychology, Concept Development and Design Principles. It's getting busy but it's actually a lot of fun.

His style of meeting management is pretty dysfunctional, but it's typical. If I'm meeting with him, and someone walks in, he focuses on the new person. If another one or two walk in, the attention goes to them. So there often are 5-6 people standing in the room, 2-3 at seats and someone on the phone. That has happened at the doctor, bank, and at the university. They don't want to be inhospitable to the new visitor but then they become disrespectful of the existing visitors. I've told him to shut the door and deal with one thing at a time. It's like trying to ride 3 camels at once.

Speaking of Camels:
Allison got some new siblings.

More new baby camels

Let's kiss and make up!

Greek Orthodox Wedding

Saturday, March 15, 2014--from Ronna

The administrative secretary for Tom's department invited us to attend her wedding a week ago. Zeina Sawahla married Faris according to the Arabic traditions. A close family friend sat beside me during the first part of the ceremony and explained what was going on. Unfortunately, I have forgotten her name while learning the names of 85 new students this semester.

Zeina in photo shoot at her family estate before the wedding

The bride's family is from a wealthy and large, old clan from Madaba, in particular, and Jordan, in general. We arrived at the home of the bride around 4 PM on a Friday. The house and olive gardens are only two houses south from where we live, but you have to follow an indirect route of several kilometers to get there--typical of this country. It was sunny and just slightly cool with a Spring breeze caressing the trees. The bride was just finishing her photo shoot with her videographers. Pose, pout, click.

Traditional color guard to honor the wedding party with bagpipes, drums and chanting

Inside the lovely home, close family and friends had gathered, the women in one large room and the men in the other. Coffee in tiny glasses and water was served and a little sweet (a bite-size baklava straight from the deli of the gods). Drums and music were played and the women surrounded the bride, dancing and swaying, arms lifted up and fingers snapping. The bride danced, too. Every so often the women would erupt into a high-pitched gobble yell. It is done with a curled, flapping tongue and sometimes fingers tapping rhythmically on the lips. I can't begin to imitate it. I think they must practice from birth.

Women's corner dancing and chanting before wedding---to give courage

More pictures of the bride and her parents and siblings are taken. Then, special gifts of money and jewelry (gold and diamonds) are given to the bride. Zeina received a gold watch from her father who fastened it on her wrist. Dancing continues and elaborate foil-wrapped chocolates are passed out to the guests. Then, the focus shifts to the male side when the uncle of the groom and other members of the groom's family enters the house. This is symbolic of one family accepting and joining the other family. It's a big deal. People have been killed because of one family not approving of a marriage to another family.

Grand uncles and male relatives in men's section of room

The bride's uncle stands and proudly recites the genealogy of the Sawahla family. He is basically telling the father of the groom and others that they are blessed to have Zeina joining their family. A gold cape is wrapped around another maternal uncle's shoulders (he is sitting in the room) which is a gift to Zeina and represents protection and comfort and will be used to wrap others in as the new couple meet life's trials. Then, the uncle of the groom and the uncle of the bride each drink a glass of coffee together which symbolizes that the groom's family has permission to escort the bride to the church where the groom and the rest of his family is waiting. The shared coffee rite is also is a symbol of future peace and harmony between the two families.

The family fleet of Porches and Mercedes to lead the wedding caravan

We followed the bride and company, her Mercedes draped front and back with a sling of real flowers and ribbons, into one of the Greek Orthodox churches in town. The groom met her in the courtyard and then with Mendelssohn's traditional wedding march, they follow her bridesmaid and groomsman (a brother and sister and usually only one of each) down the aisle to the altar. The priest gave a sermon with congregation answering with the prayers and then they said their vows. All in Arabic. The couple exchanged rings, they lit a candle behind the altar together and then walked back down the aisle accompanied by Handel's Hallelujah Chorus. The two families then joined together under a canopy in the courtyard and received guests. Close family and friends then gathered at a local restaurant for a meal and further celebrating before the couple headed to Sri Lanka for their honeymoon. Ah, to be young and in love again………..

Firas and Zeina after the wedding vows

Added Comments by Tom:

Well I'm not young but certainly still in love. Ahhh!!

I need to add that the celebrations of the wedding begin one week before the actual wedding. Traditionally, the marriage was announced in the church one week ahead. Then there was a week of dinners, dancing and celebrations leading up to the wedding.

I was invited to and attended a celebration at the bride's home two days before the wedding. There were about 60 people, again with males on one side of the large room and females on the other. Lots of greeting and treats until it erupted into joyous dancing, mostly by the women in a large cluster, dancing to music you could imagine Salome dancing to, loud enough to crush your brain. Then the traditional shooting of the guns ( including machine guns) into the air outside. A full course buffet of the best Arabic food was offered with the oldest guests first. Even if they didn't know me, I was offered the best hospitality and greetings. I left early but the dancing went into the wee hours.

Greek Orthodox Church after ceremony. Very modern building with traditional decor